Anything Goes Meme
by MoWa
Summary: Series of OS for the Anything Goes Meme of the Naruto-Meme LJ Community. Fill 4, Anti-Bullying for Dummies. Team 8!fic. Bullying, Kurenai decided, wouldn't happen to her pupils, not on her watch. Now how to use their ninja skills...
1. Fûinjutsu in n Lessons

_**A/N****:** So, I went on a filling spree with the Anything Goes Meme that began in May in the LJ community Naruto-Meme (http:/naruto-même(dot)livejournal(dot)com/), and since the following meme has just begun, I decided I'd post the result. I modified some details sometimes to make sure the fics were coherent. This is a series of **unconnected oneshots**._

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><p><strong><em>FILL 1<em>**

_**Prompt:** Naruto tutoring Sasuke. Naruto tutoring Sasuke in any kind of subject (something like math maybe?) wherever it be because Sasuke is failing the subject or just because he is OCD and wants perfect score and Kakashi pushes him towards Naruto, whatever you like but I feel like reading one where Naruto is smarter-even if it's only one subject- thanks!_

_**Fill:** Fûinjutsu in n-Lessons_

_**Charakters:** Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi and some Sakura_

_**Pairings:** None, or Sasu/Naru if you squint really really hard_

_**Warnings:** Futurefic following the hypothesis that Sasuke comes back to Konoha one day. Ridiculousness. Unbeta-ed because of how the meme works._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto._

_**Summary:** Fûinjutsu – otherwise known as sealing techniques. Sasukes wants to learn more about it. Naruto has kick-ass genetics. It all works out in the end._

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><p><em><span>Fûinjutsu in n Lessons<span>_

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><p>"I want to know more about fûinjutsu."<p>

Kakashi, who acted a little bit too much like the teacher he'd been so long ago, like he hadn't been ready to kill him _not_ so long ago, raised his one visible eyebrow without glancing up from his ever present book.

"And?" was all he asked, entirely unconcerned.

"And I can't find a damn scroll about the most basic seal in the library," Sasuke bit out, already out of patience.

"Ah," Kakashi replied very intelligently, then turned a page.

"Don't tell me it's another one of the restrictions I'm being put under in the name of probation," the young Uchiha seethed.

"Well, why would you want to add sealing techniques to your arsenal, I wonder?" Kakashi asked, slowly raising his dark eye toward his former student, and in it was a serious wariness that wouldn't have been there had Sasuke still been twelve.

"I..." Sasuke found himself hesitating and lifting his hand to cover the junction of his neck and shoulder, where a cursed mark had been. "I need to know about aftereffects," he finally said. Itachi might have sucked Orochimaru right out of his body, it had been there for years, and Sasuke didn't want to end up fighting off unexpected consequences at the worse of times several years down the road.

"I see," Kakashi said with a nod, but didn't offer any kind of help.

Sasuke fumed for a whole minute before he managed to abate enough of his pride in order to say: "You tried to counter the curse seal with another one. The Fourth had taught you. You can teach me."

Unexpectedly, Kakashi let his eyelids curve upwards like he did to indicate he was smiling. "Key word being 'tried'," he replied, then went on before Sasuke had the time to retort: "I'm flattered you still have such a high regard for my abilities, though."

There was no mistaking the sarcasm in his tone.

"But," he then said, "many things have changed since then." Trust him to remind Sasuke of how much he'd missed with his past choices and actions. "I'm far from being the fûinjutsu specialist these days."

Sasuke frowned. He knew Kakashi had never specialized in sealing techniques. But he also knew that the last person whose knowledge had been greater was resting at the bottom of a lake, courtesy of Pain.

"What aren't you telling me?" he gritted between his teeth, not liking the spark glinting in his former teacher's eye.

"You're lucky, Naruto came back from his mission last night," the man answered. "Or very early this morning, depends on how you look at it. You won't have any trouble finding him."

Sasuke felt his angry frown morph into one of puzzlement. "Naruto?"

What had the idiot done this time? And what had it to do with...

"Oh, look at that. An old lady in need of help to carry her groceries. Duty is calling."

And with that, Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Damn it.

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><p>"Is someone dead?"<p>

Sasuke sneered at the question that tumbled out of Naruto's lips after five solid minutes of stunned staring, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"No, probably not," his former teammate went on, threading a hand through the mess he called hair. "You wouldn't bother."

It looked like Naruto had barely taken the time to take off some clothes before crashing and had been out like a light until Sasuke had come knocking at his door. The Uchiha took the time to think that the mission he'd been on might have been exhausting and that he might not have had a whole night of sleep in days... then shrugged these useless considerations away.

He was here for a reason.

He invited himself in, taking advantage of the fact that Naruto's brain was still too sleep-addled to allow him to react, and went to sit down on a chair. He then raised his gaze toward his former teammate who was still standing beside the open door, staring at him like he was some sort of aberration.

And, in some way, he was. Until now, the Uchiha had had to be dragged to only come and share a 'meal' at Ichikaru's and had absolutely refused to step through this same door - which Naruto finally thought of closing.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you and all," he said with hesitation, and it amazed Sasuke how genuine he could be when saying this even after all those past years of betrayal. "But what the hell?"

"I need to learn more about fûinjutsu," Sasuke admitted after a long silence, his eyes sweeping over the room. It was a lot less dirty and messy than he'd imagined. And, what surprised him even more, what little of mess there was was as much composed of pieces of clothing and empty ramen cups than of scrolls and books. He turned his attention back to Naruto who had his eyebrows raised in surprise. But then his face split into a too large, gleeful grin.

"Oh, really?"

Sasuke was beginning to think he was missing something. Something big. Like the mass of ramen Naruto had eaten since his birth big.

"Kakashi..." he began, only to stop when Naruto exclaimed: "Aah!"

Like it explained everything.

Now Naruto was looking at him like a fox might look at a trapped rabbit. "You know, I should just rub it in your pretty face," he said after a while, then shrugged. "But, well. There'll be time for it later. For now..."

Without bothering to put a shirt on, he walked to the bookcase in the corner that was spilling with scrolls, books and other pieces of paper. Sasuke felt his frown deepen, not liking the way this was going.

He uncrossed his arms to catch a scroll Naruto threw in his direction without warning. He glanced down at it, then looked back up to meet Naruto's eyes.

"Well, open it," the blond man said, gesturing for him to do so.

Sasuke tried very hard to keep his face neutral. "It's sealed, moron," he retorted.

"And?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow like he didn't see the point.

Not liking the way he was being played with - first the librarians, then Kakashi, then Naruto, it had to stop - Sasuke aimed the scroll at his former teammate's head. Naruto didn't even bother to dodge and caught the roll of paper when it bounced off his skull, seemingly unconcerned. But then, looking Sasuke right in the eye and wearing a shit eating grin, he positioned his fingers on the scroll like he was placing them on a flute...

And then unrolled it like measuring tape.

That made Sasuke pause. If possible, Naruto's grin turned even wider, and more than a little smug. "You, Uchiha Sasuke," he declared, "don't know the first thing about seals."

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><p>What made the most part of Naruto's newfound sealing talent, Sasuke soon discovered, was actually his lack of basic knowledge about fûinjutsu. It would have been strange for anyone else, but it was Naruto they were talking about, the same shinobi as the boy that had mastered Kage Bunshin while he still couldn't perform the most basic shadow clone technique. Not knowing the simplest rules of sealing, he was never stopped by anything as trivial as 'not technically  logically possible' and was never worried about wasting tons of chakra while trying something new or forcing his way through jutsu's and physical laws.

The first scroll he'd read about the subject had been one written by his mother - Sasuke had asked him to repeat that, not aware that the idiot had ever had a mother, and had been rewarded by a look of perplexity then a sly smile when Naruto had instead dropped the following bomb:

"Yeah, my mom. You know, the Fourth's wife. The mother of his child. Want me to draw you a picture?"

He hadn't asked about more precisions after this, only glaring suspiciously at the lengthening hair on Naruto's head, now understanding why it was the blond man had apparently forgotten what scissors were.

Still. Apparently, Naruto's long lost mother had come from a country expert in sealing techniques, had taught the Fourth all he had ever known about the subject, and had left high level theories written in scrolls Naruto had stumbled upon because Tsunade had consulted them in the hopes of healing an ANBU whose mission had turned awry and had mentioned who had written them in passing. Curious, Naruto had thrown a glance at the complicated text, had ended up drawn into it and still hadn't gone out.

He also had healed the ANBU two days later even if the most gifted shinobis had been poring over his case for a month beforehand.

"I just... get it, you know?" he said once, correctly interpreting the frown on Sasuke's brow as one of frustration at being unable to understand the nooks of the most simple techniques and symbol combinations while Naruto sealed things away like Suigetsu swam. Like it was as natural as breathing. Following the metaphor, fûinjutsu was a bit too much like apnea for Sasuke's tastes.

Which wasn't very good on his pride.

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><p>There were two main methods to master sealing techniques. Either you could learn the jutsus one by one, each one for a precise use - like Tenten who had studied every fûinjutsu pertaining to sealing weapons of all kind, like Sasuke himself had memorized some, never wondering how it worked once he'd gotten the expected result. Or you could deconstruct the techniques until you knew how every last line, symbol, piece of writing and hand seal acted and afterwards used them at will in new compositions, which offered you infinite possibilities.<p>

Naruto, of course, liked to play and had thrown himself into the second one.

Sasuke still wondered how the so-called idiot had mastered all these concepts so rapidly and handled them so easily. He had never been one for exhaustive learning, which could explain why he hadn't been tempted by the first method, but still. It was strange.

"Think of a seal like a bowl of ramen," the blond man explained one evening. He had dragged them both to Ichikaru for 'a well-deserved bowl of heaven' after hours of studying which, in Sasuke's opinion, had led to nothing.

"Like that, all ready and steaming, it's perfect," Naruto went own, reverently cupping his steaming bowl between his hands. "Why? Because it has all the ingredients put together exactly like they are meant to be. Separated, they would only be sad elements - dry noodles, empty water, tasteless greens." He mournfully shook his head, then perked up when he added: "But once they are correctly joined..."

He broke off to throw a gleeful smile at Sasuke who couldn't quite believe his ex-teammate was using such a comparison, but wasn't really surprised either.

"They are cooked," Naruto went on, oblivious to his skepticism. "Which means most elements have to undergo a slight change to accord themselves with others, to form a whole instead of acting each one by themselves."

"So fûinjutsu and ramen are models for teamwork," another voice spoke up and Sasuke turned around to see Kakashi seated on the stool to his left, lazily raising a hand in greeting and asking for a bowl. He noticed the suspicious glare the Uchiha was throwing in his direction and smiled: "Go on, go on, don't interrupt yourself on my account."

"Right," Naruto agreed. He had picked up and split his chopsticks, ready to dive into his bowl, but paused to point them in Sasuke's direction. "Now, you can notice there are some basic elements that always come back, like broth or noodles, without which there would be no ramen!"

He gasped and flailed his arms, probably trying to render a dramatic effect.

"Those must always be used. Others, on the contrary, come and go according to what kind of ramen you want to cook. There are even some rare ingredients, very difficult to integrate and cook correctly, that you only get to use to make a very special brand of ramen. Those are the best. Like old Teuchi's masterpieces here," he concluded.

At that, the cook threw a smile in Naruto's direction. "Who knew I had the makings to be a ninja?" he jokingly said.

"I did!" Naruto exclaimed, raising the hand holding his chopsticks in the air. "You're the best, old man!" Then, turning to Sasuke: "So yeah. Seals are like ramen. Obvious, isn't it?"

Sasuke threw him a blank stare.

"... Or not."

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><p>Sasuke drew the last line, black ink on white paper, then raised his brush, wondering if he could put it away.<p>

"Finished?"

Naruto leaned above his shoulder and for a second, Sasuke felt like a child again, drawing his first letters with Itachi watching, ready to correct or encourage him - or with his father's stern presence at his back, which always tented to turn his characters a little bit wobbly.

"Mh," Naruto hummed, and even if Sasuke wasn't looking at him, he knew the way he'd probably tilted his head to the side, slightly pouting. "Not bad. But something's missing. It's like... Kakashi without his mask or something."

After confiscating every single scrolls on the subject, scrolls Sasuke hadn't even gotten to glance at with his Sharingan - which, with the associated photographic memory, would've came really handy if it hadn't been blocked as a 'precaution' - Naruto had given him a situation and was now expecting him to _create_ the correct seal to seal away _clothes_, of all things. Sasuke frowned at what he'd come up with, then dipped his brush in the ink pot to add a series of simple symbols at the tip of the rays expanding from the centre.

"Good," Naruto approved, but added before Sasuke could relax: "Now it's like Lee without his leg and arm weights. There is still something missing, but it's more discreet, only it's going to kick your ass if you try it like that."

Apparently, Naruto hadn't given up on the crazy analogies. Pressing his lips together, Sasuke added a circle in the centre of the seal and a character at the corner of the drawing to signal he was adding a hand seal.

"That's an idea," Naruto said slowly after a while. "But it's like Sakura bitch slapping you whereas she could throw you through the wall. It makes you gather a lot of power and not even use the tenth of it."

Sasuke tried not to let frustration creep over him, unrolled the paper scroll he was working on to free enough blank space to redraw his first attempt. He thought for a while, then added something else.

"Shino fighting with spiders," Naruto commented with a serious nod instead of simply saying it wasn't the right combination. "It won't be pretty."

A refrained sigh, more unrolling, another copy, another try.

"Kiba patting a cat."

The problem was, with all the knowledge Naruto had already crammed his brain and eyes with, and this without real concern about order, Sasuke was not short on possibilities. But his frustration tended to make him forget what the characteristics of each one were and why exactly they weren't the best suited for the present situation. His ex-teammate's stupid comments didn't help.

"Maito Gai wearing black!" Naruto exclaimed when seeing his last attempt, flailing his arms.

Sasuke broke his brush in two without meaning to. "Enough!" he growled, pushing the table and scroll away. "I don't even see how it's helping. Teach me something useful that can be used in a fight for a change! Idiot."

Naruto's answer was to violently thrust a finger on his forehead. "You didn't ask for fighting techniques, you asked for knowledge about aftereffects and consequences, you bastard! How can you hope to get them if you don't even know how a simple seal works in the first place?" Another thrust. Naruto's eyes were blazing. "There is no textbook answer, especially not for a forbidden jutsu as complex as Orochimaru's curse seal. And _you_ call _me_ an idiot?"

Sasuke finally reacted and pushed Naruto away, and did not think about Itachi as he rubbed his forehead where his former teammate had violently poked him.

"Well, that seal didn't _look_ so complicated," he mumbled, remembering the simple circle and the three commas. "And you don't let me look at anything more than basic fûinjutsu."

Naruto indeed had taken up on sealing almost all of the scrolls on fûinjutsu depending on their difficulty and complexity - which was why he had confiscated almost all of them from the library in the first place. He scoffed, crossing his arms. "Well, if you can't open a scroll, it's obviously because you don't know enough about sealing techniques for what it contains. Like I'll let an amateur like you play with five elements seals or three symbols ones."

He snorted.

"As for Orochimaru's curse seal being 'simple', it was only on the surface, dumb ass. Or must I remind you that the guy _bit_ you? If Kakashi's counter-seal failed, it's because it acted on the most apparent effects and couldn't do a thing about the others - you know, the ones of the mind-fuckery and craziness-inducing kind," he bit out, then softly added: "The most complex and powerful fûinjutsus are mostly invisible."

His expression darkened at that. Sasuke noticed how he subconsciously lifted his hand to his stomach and didn't comment.

"Anyway," Naruto added, shrugging his strange mood away. "You got to, like, look underneath the underneath. So back to work, young man!"

Naruto was really seeing too much of Iruka and Kakashi these days.

"You still could at least make me create seals that would be useful in a fight," Sasuke grouched, still sour over his inability to find the right combination.

"Okay, come with me then, asshole," Naruto barked, abruptly straightening. He went to pick up his vest and threw it over his shoulder. At Sasuke's interrogatively raised eyebrow, he gritted between his teeth: "Obviously, you need some serious ass kicking to stop bitching, so I'm gonna kick your ass, but not here because I've had enough of breaking the furnitures, and then you're going to get to work seriously and without complain, got it?"

Sasuke only glared. Naruto smirked.

"Unless you fear I'm going to make you bit the dust without even needing to try now that you saw just how awesome I am," he cockily said. "Chicken."

That sealed it, really.

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><p>Fighting at will with Naruto was one of the few (very few) things that made Sasuke's situation bearable and prevented him from entirely regretting ever coming back to Konoha. The whole village was wary of him, most shinobis looked at him like he was a poisonous snake (he always had to resist summoning one to make them get acquainted with the real deal) and the new council (the former was currently rotting away in a cell for Sasuke's utmost satisfaction) had tried to drown him under rules and limitations and interdictions in the name of security. The whole thing was wrapped in a pretty package they called 'probation period' and which had no expiration date.<p>

Until the day Naruto would become Hokage and change the rules, that was.

But since he'd gotten out of prison and house arrest, and even if he still wasn't allowed to leave the village, there was no preventing him to train with Naruto - or, more exactly, there was no preventing them going at each other's throat when mature discussion wasn't a solution.

Which was 99,9% of the time.

The other shinobis had long since understood that the training ground they usually chose to pummel each other was to be permanently deserted and avoided - unless you had a dying wish and liked to be collateral damage.

Naruto had gotten better, there was no doubt about it, but most of all he still fought like nothing else existed at the moment, like his life depended on it even when it was supposed to only be a training spar. And there was nothing more thrilling for Sasuke than an opponent ready to gut you only because you were ready to gut him given the chance. Being the centre of Naruto's murderous attention and universe was quite exhilarating. That, and the blond shinobi was still the most surprising ninja, always readapting his fighting style and adding new things - not always successful ones - in the hopes it would give him an advantage, which prevented their daily fights to become dull and boring.

And which is why Sasuke was and wasn't surprised when, right in the middle of their fight, Naruto formed a series of hand seals he had painstakingly put together himself not two hours earlier then added a last one - serpent, _of course_, Sasuke should have _thought_ about it - before sweeping out his leg and punching him in the hip when Sasuke jumped to avoid it. The Uchiha threw a set of shurikens to untangle himself and flipped away to assess the situation.

And had to abruptly grip his pants when they began slipping down his hips.

He raised his head to glare at Naruto's suddenly mirthful expression. The _imbecile_ had sealed away his belt.

"Soo," Naruto drawled, his voice trembling with badly repressed laughter. "You're at a disadvantage, now. What are you going to do?"

With a little bit of luck, the idiot had even added a lock to the seal, which would make it impossible for Sasuke to release it even if he found out how. He frowned, cursing the fact that he couldn't use the Sharingan to make the moron regret this and trying to find a way to react when he heard a strangled sound behind him. Whirling around, he caught sight of Sakura standing at the edge of the training ground, hand covering her mouth and a little red in the face. But the color creeping up on her cheeks had nothing to do with the blush that her younger self would have sported at seeing Uchiha Sasuke on the verge of losing his clothes. No - and Sasuke was horrified when he noticed he almost _wished_ it was - what made her look like she was choking was the laughter she was vainly trying to hold back.

Sasuke's glare apparently didn't work like it should have since she simply let it burst out in reaction, ending up bent in two she was laughing to hard.

"See?" An arm fell heavily on his shoulders. A second later, Naruto squeaked and barely dodged the kunai Sasuke aimed at his guts in defense. He raised his hands in a placating gesture and added: "Every sealing technique can be useful in a fight. You only have to know how to use it."

A series of hand seals and the belt reappeared in his hands.

"Give that back," Sasuke snapped, hating the fact he still had to hold his pants to preserve his decency.

Naruto only threw him that sharp grin of his and challenged: "_Make_ me."

This time, the Uchiha growled: "That's not a game, moron."

"Yes it is," Naruto gleefully retorted. "'Cause you gotta catch me first."

And with that he darted away.

The silence that fell one the training ground was heavy, like it always was after huge catastrophes.

"You know," Sakura said once she had mastered her laughter. "It's nice to see you acting a little bit normal, for once." She remained unfazed by the cold glare Sasuke threw in her direction and smiled. "When you're finished, can you drag Naruto with you to the sushi bar? It's been a while since we've dined together."

She didn't wait for his answer and turned away with a wave.

"Oh, and if you want, I could help you with a thing or two. Not like I'm a specialist or anything, but several fûinjutsus can come in handy for medical purposes. And since Naruto's not the most orthodox of teachers, it can be good to get another point of view."

She threw him a smirk above her shoulder. Why was it everyone had stolen his favorite expression? "But try and get decent first. I wouldn't want any old patient to die of nosebleed when you come to the hospital."

With that she disappeared, leaving Sasuke alone with his falling pants and wounded pride.

That was it. He was going to kill them all.

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><p><em>Epilogue<em>

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><p>Finally, after months - years - of teaching, came the day to draw a conclusion about Orochimaru's curse seal.<p>

"So, considering all these facts, the number of times you relied on the seal and the way it got sucked out of your body, you can conclude that the consequences of it will amount to...?"

"... Nothing."

"Very good," Naruto grinned, and looked like he was tempted to pat him on the head like a good puppy.

Sasuke was Not Amused. "You mean," he slowly said, "that instead of telling me right there and then that I didn't need to worry about anything, you make me suffer months - years - of dumb so-called learning and training so that I could find it out _by myself_."

"Well, it wasn't that obvious, was it?" Naruto replied, not caring he was on the verge of getting his future Hokage robes burned to a crisp. "But you should have known. Your brother _was_ a kick-ass ninja, after all."

Sasuke glared at his former teammate and wished looks could kill. Oh, wait. They could. When no bloody fûinjutsu was blocking his Sharingan...

"And you learned some awesome techniques too," Naruto reminded him.

Sasuke snorted. For sure, he was now able to seal away any kind of food, weapons and clothes in his sleep.

He had to admit the technique about the last ones could come in handy in certain situations. You know, when clothes were becoming very offending and had to disappear at once or get ripped off. Yeah. That sort of situation.

"But," Naruto added, and the change in his tone caught Sasuke's attention, making him look back up toward his face. "If I were you, I would be more interested in the seal blocking my eyes, you know."

Sasuke narrowed said eyes.

"Who d'ya think made the seal Kakashi used back then?" Naruto asked with a smile sporting too sharp teeth.

By then, Sasuke had to refrain from shaking the idiot to get answers at once and coolly looked at him, one eyebrow nonchalantly raised. "Isn't it against the rules, making a seal that doesn't work?"

Internally, he was wildly wondering how it came he'd never noticed he could still use the Sharingan.

"Oh, but it does," Naruto retorted, squashing Sasuke's rising hopes until he added: "Mostly. See, since you specialize in genjutsu, fire ninjutsu and taijutsu, there was no need to make an excessively complex seal. You know, the kind that couldn't be bypassed even by the most powerful fûijutsu user. It would've been too troublesome, really."

"I see," Sasuke slowly said, trying not to let his hands shake and a little bit amazed in spite of himself by Naruto's ability to plot something like that. But then he noticed the Shikamaru-quote in his speech and understood better.

"So, you still want to stop wasting your time with those dumb so-called lessons?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke snorted, crossed his arms and disdainfully looked elsewhere.

"Great! Let's go eat find something to eat, then," Naruto exclaimed, correctly interpreting the answer. "Oh, and you're paying. You owe me, after all."

Sasuke followed and wondered if he could find a sealing technique that would seal Ichikaru's ramen away - and that Naruto wouldn't be able to counter for at least a day.

Perhaps with the help of Kakashi and Sakura. He was sure he could get them to help.

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><p><em>END<em>

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><p><em>I love feedback :)<em>


	2. Homecoming

_**FILL 2**_

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><p><em><strong>Prompt:<strong> KisaIta Hurt/comfort. I am just a total sucker for KisaIta pairings, especially when Itachi's the one in pain. Don't care the situation. Don't care where in the timeline. I just want Itachi suffering and Kisame caring. Thanks, anons !_

_**Fill:** Homecoming_

_**Characters:** Kisame, Itachi + Mikoto, Fugaku Sasuke and Naruto_

_**Pairing(s):** KisamexItachi if you want to see it that way. Hints of SasukexNaruto._

_**Warning:** AU. Unbeta'd._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. I just play with the characters._

_**Summary:** When Itachi finally went back to his family and to his past, Kisame went with him as the silent support he always was. But what they found was very different from what the kid had left all those years ago – for better and worse._

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><p><em><span>Homecoming<span>_

* * *

><p>"We should go to Suna to celebrate," Itachi's mother - Mikoto, was it? - suddenly said, joining her hands with a smile and breaking the awkward silence that had fallen over the room.<p>

From the armchair he was sitting on, her husband raised an eyebrow. "We were already planning to go there," he pointed out.

"But now we have a reason so it's impossible to cancel," she retorted without letting go of her enthusiasm. "How lucky are we that the house we've had our eye on hasn't been hired yet."

Only then did she turn her gaze towards the strange pair they obviously didn't know how to welcome. Kisame guessed that his tall, bulky, dark-skinned person wasn't the best one their estranged son could've come home with.

"Your friend is welcome, of course," she politely added.

Kisame had to smirk at the way she said it, '_friend_'. It was obvious she was wondering what their status was exactly - but curiously, her interest seemed more picked than offended by the possibility they could be more, which was surprising. So either Itachi's memory of her had been strongly skewed, or the stuck-up, somewhat embittered trophy wife had changed as much as her son had over the years spent apart.

Itachi, scatterbrain that he was, apparently didn't notice, for the simple reason that his attention and eyes were literally glued to his little brother ever since he'd been greeted with awkward indifference instead of the spitting resentment he'd been expecting. The kid wasn't returning his gaze, instead staring at his mother with an intent expression on his face that made him look hesitant and imperious at the same time. She noticed, of course, and answered his silent question good-humoredly:

"Of course Naruto is coming, if he wants to."

No sooner had the words left her mouth that her youngest son was standing up and leaving the room after having snatched the phone from its holder.

Kisame felt Itachi deflate as much as he saw him sag under the hurt. He was tempted to put a supporting hand on his shoulder, which would've been easy from where he was standing, behind the couch Itachi had settled on, an imposing and foreboding presence warning off anyone planning to upset his companion. But he didn't know how his gesture would be accepted in front of the infamous and problematic parents.

That, and Itachi soon straightened, burying his vulnerability inside of him and asking with more firmness and less tormented curiosity than he felt, Kisame knew:

"Who is Naruto?"

Mentioning the name was like flicking on a light-switch in the couple's dark eyes.

"Your brother's best friend," Itachi's father, Fugaku if Kisame remembered well, replied at the same time his wife smiled and answered: "Sasuke's boyfriend, of course!"

There was a pause. Kisame expected it to turn incredibly awkward, but it was broken almost immediately.

"Your mother," Fugaku slowly uttered, "lives under the delusion that such a close friendship _has_ to mean something more."

"Your father," Mikoto replied just as clearly and firmly, crossing her arms, "is in denial."

'_Your mother_', '_your father._' The exchange could've been unbearably cold, would've been, if both adults had been exactly like Itachi had described them. But Mr. Uchiha wasn't really bothering to hide his ruffled feathers and pride and Mrs. Uchiha had that playful spark at the bottom of her eyes...

"We have a running bet on it," she simpered.

"Which you'll only win if you can prove your foolish statement," her husband retorted.

Mikoto smirked, which taught Kisame where Itachi had gotten it from.

"Careful, Fu," she threatened. "I'll make you walk in on them at the worst possible moment if it's what it takes."

They were light-heartedly _teasing_ each other just like any loving, close couple would, which was a far cry from the heavy, rigid atmosphere Kisame had thought to expect. He felt a bit unsettled and it would've turned into slight irritation at having been thus deceived, had he not felt Itachi's mute stupefaction and his pain at feeling so much like the outsider he'd become.

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><p>Kisame had met Itachi when the young man had been a little over thirteen years old and himself... Well. He'd never known when his birthday was, but he guessed somewhere around his mid-twenties, since he'd noticed he'd stopped growing for some years at the time.<p>

At first, he hadn't thought much of the kid, judging he belonged to the category of snotty little brats with too much money and time who thought they could ward off their boredom by doing things that would make daddy dearest choke on his imported tea and expensive tie. They were easy to spot with their high-class clothes and the way they had to wave indecent wads of bank notes under the nose of whoever would offer them the occasion to be what they thought was daring instead of plain stupid.

Itachi might have been more discreet at the beginning, but you don't pay a drink with a five hundred ryô bill in a dingy bar past midnight when you're alone and smaller than six feet at least.

Now there were two ways to take care of that kind of brats. The dumb one, that is to say to be the heavy-fisted guy that would greet him a street away from the bar, have a bit of fun in the dark and walk away with a nice amount of money he would spend too rapidly without believing his luck; or the clever one, that was to be the guy who would ward off the wolves, stick to the brat and milk the cow for as long as it was worth it and possible.

Which had promised to be some time with that one, because heck, the boy sure had looked loaded.

Kisame liked to think that he had survived that long and well because, apart from the impressive height and stoutness he'd miraculously developed, he also was far from _not_ being the sharpest knife in the drawer. And he'd been quick to discover that sticking to the kid for long enough with allegedly pleasant and disinterested conversation had landed him a free meal at a really nice restaurant.

The next day, he'd just happened to find his seat opposite to the boy on the train that was leaving the city. What a Coincidence.

He'd just hoped - real hard, honest - that the guy he'd... borrowed - yes, that was the word, and politely at that - the ticket from hadn't really needed to go asap to wherever it was the train was headed.

The journey had been pleasant, so it had been only natural Kisame had kept on following the boy afterwards.

He'd felt it was the beginning of a great tacit agreement: the brat's money against his... well, intimidating and therefore off-putting presence to anyone who could get any ideas. Self-appointed bodyguard - he could certainly live with that. As long as he didn't mention the fact that he'd leave the kid - whose name was Itachi, he'd learned - to fend for himself and probably get his throat slit if he ever showed signs that he was running short on green notes or if the situation proved to be more risky than profitable. It had been a match made in heaven.

That was, until Kisame had noticed several things, and sooner than he'd liked.

One, Itachi was smart. More than smart. Genius smart. So much that he'd never talked or acted like a thirteen years old, had never even looked at the world like a thirteen years old would. Which meant there was no way Kisame, with his limited, uneducated brain, could've swindled him like he'd thought he had. Which meant that Itachi perfectly knew what his imposed companion was doing and was _letting_ him. Which meant that Kisame fitted in whatever scheme it was that was progressing behind those dark, calculating eyes.

Kisame hadn't known what to think of that at the time, but then he'd still had his food and single bed payed for him every day and night, so he'd just opted for not complaining and hoping it wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass later.

Two, it wasn't so clear why exactly Kisame figured in Itachi's life plan, since it certainly wasn't because he'd been a damn good off-putting presence to anyone wishing to give it a try and pry his money out of the oblivious kid hanging about the wrong place at the wrong time, be it by persuasion or violence. Not only had Itachi held his alcohol disturbingly well for someone so young - and still did - but Kisame had soon learned he didn't need help to take care of his physical self, that one evening when he'd let himself be distracted by a girl in red and hadn't noticed the group closing in on his self-imposed charge hardly more than a street away.

There was nothing more humbling and borderline humiliating than discovering that the small kid you'd thought needed your protection could actually break your arm in five different places without blinking. Kisame was sure at least two of the thugs had ended up at the hospital, if not maimed for life.

Three, for all his cold calculations and relentlessness when he fought, Itachi was... well, _endearing_, in his own peculiar way. It was like you couldn't not like him, because underneath it all he remained strangely nice, if you looked at it the right way. Before Kisame had known it, he'd found out that the brat had dared to grow on him and that he just had to _care_ and worry more often than not.

Because that was the thing with Itachi: there was something seriously wrong with him.

Kisame had guessed it the day the brat had admitted to running away from home because he'd begun having very serious homicidal and suicidal thoughts - and hadn't been joking in the least, not even with his very own brand of humor Kisame never understood. Itachi had even been able to describe how he had imagined he would slit his mother's throat and smear the blood over his father's still face.

After a while, Kisame had gathered enough information here and there in as many conversations to determine that the Uchiha household and its unbearable, choking pressure wasn't the only reason for it. Most of all, it was in Itachi's head: the dark downside of being a genius. Sure, you were admired and never hesitated and always just _knew_. You could have everything simply because you could see it and understand it too.

But that was the problem.

You saw and understood _everything_. Something happened to you, to anyone, and you immediately knew what the implications were, the reasons hidden behind, the consequences. You couldn't really enjoy anything, because you were always acutely aware of what went with it, of what it actually was and meant, the good but most of all the bad. No wonder he'd thought of breaking free from his family. Already at five he'd been able to see what it was doing to him.

But then there had been his brother. Sasuke. The lone small miracle in Itachi's life, the enigma he couldn't solve, the only person he'd ever loved without understanding why - without needing to understand. When Itachi said his name, it always sounded like he was taking his first breath in years.

It was for Sasuke Itachi had left before he could do something he knew would destroy the only thing that mattered, _him_. It was for Sasuke he'd fled, in the hopes that he could build himself back together elsewhere, far away, that he could discover how to live with what he was, that he could find the equilibrium between the world and those thoughts that never ever stopped. It was for Sasuke he'd always been able to wake up each day to try again and again until he could come back.

Years had passed, and he had stayed away. At first he'd argued that it was because he wasn't strong enough to face his parents yet, not sure he'd grown out of everything and put enough distance between them and him, between what he felt and them, fearing he would fall right back into a dangerous pattern. Then he hadn't dared come back and see what was left of the little brother he'd left behind, all alone and without an explanation, the little brother he felt he'd sacrificed somehow, the little brother he'd done all this for.

But he was doing better. There were days he was quite normal, could almost crack a smirk at something genuinely funny.

And then there were days he... _wasn't_.

That was when Kisame stepped in.

* * *

><p>Kisame believed that what would've been left of Sasuke probably wouldn't have been much, or would've been some sort of embittered, twisted monstrosity, hadn't a blond kid barged into the whole mess and left nothing standing.<p>

Naruto Uzumaki wasn't what Itachi had been expecting, Kisame suspected. But then, he probably wasn't what the other Uchihas had expected either, Sasuke first and foremost.

He'd begun calling Itachi's little brother a bastard two minutes after seeing him for the first time, no doubt, but Kisame guessed he hadn't been more hesitant to tell Mr. Uchiha where he could shove it and making Mrs. Uchiha realize that she was a stupid bitch for bemoaning her fate but doing nothing to change it.

Apparently, it had been a cathartic breath of fresh air.

He'd seamlessly done what Itachi, for all his genius, hadn't been able to, but most of all he'd done it effortlessly, without meaning to, only by being himself and very much _here_. And Kisame saw how his companion was torn between feeling incredibly grateful and simply loathing him for what he'd done.

The way Sasuke behaved as soon as the blond teenager was around certainly didn't help matters. At all.

"He used to look at me like that, you know."

As he always did when Itachi spoke, especially when he spoke like that, barely in a whisper, Kisame stopped whatever he was doing to give him his attention. This time he'd been busy with a pretty intense observation of one Naruto Uzumaki, trying to determine what all the fuss was about while the teen was building a sand castle with a sullen, lonely kid that had looked like he was ready to kill you with his bucket and bury your body with his plastic spade until the blonde had walked up to him.

"He changes people," Mikoto had said with a soft smile, looking so much like a newly converted woman that it had been creepy. But he really did, and Kisame got to see it live: the red-haired kid was already beginning to smile.

Itachi, for his part, was not leaving his little brother out of his sight, who, in turn, was quietly staring at his friend from the shadow of the parasol he was sitting under, the book in his hands entirely forgotten. That was a one hell of a triangle if Kisame knew one. He hoped Mrs. Uchiha had made her bet well, because it was highly probable that she was going to win, if the look Sasuke was sporting was anything to go by.

Itachi saw it too, of course, and he looked so small on his chair, a shrinking shadow ready to be swept away by the summer sun. "He would look at me like I was the only thing that mattered," he went on, subdued, still dejectedly watching what the little boy he was remembering had become. "Like he'd be content as long as I was here for him. Now..."

Now it was someone else Sasuke's universe revolved around, taking up so much of his attention that, to Itachi, it looked like his brother hadn't any time to spare resenting him for leaving, remembering what they had meant to each other once, showing anything else than indifference.

"He won't talk to me," Itachi almost choked. "He doesn't even look at me."

Kisame tightened his lips and wondered if he should correct him on that point. Sasuke did look at Itachi - but he did it like Itachi looked at Sasuke, that is to say when the teenager wasn't aware of it, when he was distracted enough. And Naruto was _very_ distracting, Kisame mused as the blond teen approached his friend with determination written on his face and undertook to drag him away from the shadow now that his small red-haired friend had left with a wave and another smile. But when he wasn't, when Sasuke stopped watching him like he feared he might disappear or do something stupid, when Itachi was deep in thoughts, eyes riveted to the ground...

Then you couldn't miss it.

But as it was, observant, genius Itachi was entirely blind when it came to his little brother - the one who made him not perfect but made him wish to be better.

There was so much love there, in these gazes, from both sides. But also so much pain, and so much fear as a consequence.

Kisame didn't know what to do to unleash the chain of events that would make things better, if not right. One Uchiha he could deal with. With two, it was difficult to predict what would happen, how they would react - not to mention that he didn't know a thing about Sasuke apart from the too fond memories Itachi had of him and the fact that a blond teenager knew very well how to push his buttons.

Said teenager was now sloshing between the waves and taunting his friend, daring him to dive while Sasuke snarled and hung back, pretending he was lingering in front of the water out of choice and lack of goodwill, and not because the ocean was uncomfortably cold. As Itachi and Kisame watched, Naruto brought his arm back before throwing it in front of him in a sweeping gesture, sending a large amount of water flying and splashing his friend all over.

In the tense, incredulous silence that followed from Sasuke's side, Naruto burst out laughing and Kisame smirked - but Itachi turned his head away like the scene hurt too much to see.

"Do you think I made a mistake?" he asked as Sasuke pounced on his so-called best friend, teeth bared, intent on strangling and drowning him, not caring anymore about the water's temperature.

Kisame took a step closer to the chair his companion was sitting in, putting a hand on the back of it, and followed his gaze to the right, towards the horizon with the beach stretched out and the ocean lapping at it. He could make out two small silhouettes walking side by side, probably Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha coming back from the small stroll they'd decided to take, looking like the perfect couple now that they had taken the time to sit down and sort out their numerous issues.

"If I hadn't left..." Itachi whispered, and Kisame knew he had to stop him right there.

"You did the right thing," he said firmly, but fell short when it came to explaining why.

He wasn't good with words, had never been. He always left it to Itachi to think and talk, to put words on what was wrong, to understand what his looks meant because the moments when he had something important to say were always the ones when he was the least articulate.

It was how they worked, with Itachi walking in front of him, leading the way and interacting with the world, and with him following, ready to catch his companion when he stumbled or couldn't bear the sight of others and their petty flaws anymore. He was all acts and a strong presence he didn't let anyone forget except when he wanted to, and was very satisfied with things as they were, with him bashing Itachi on the head when needed, or punching him, or shaking him until he snapped out of his worst moods, never mind it often escalated into a fight that was challenging for the both of them.

Only this time, things were a bit more delicate and subtle. For one, he doubted Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha would keep on being very accepting if they were to witness the lengths he was ready to go to to literally knock some sense into Itachi's head. That, and he already knew what would be the best solution since he himself couldn't talk and since the problem was beyond him for once, since it concerned a third person. But both brothers had yet to have a conversation that was more than one hesitant '_Little brother_' in greetings on the one side and an unfathomable gaze, followed, if they were lucky, by a short reluctant nod on the other side.

So for now Kisame was on his own and very much at a loss. Only things never ended well when Itachi began turning his memories and regrets over. He had to make him snap out of it, and fast.

Still not knowing what to do, he opened his mouth and-

"Hey, Mr. Jaws!"

-was promptly interrupted by a loud voice he was beginning to know well.

He turned his head towards the approaching blond teen, and saw Itachi do the same out of the corner of his eye. Naruto was still soaked, his skin tanning by the minute, his lips adorned by a shit-eating grin.

"I just bet Sasuke there," throwing a thumb over his shoulder, he pointed at his friend who looked like a drowned cat and was now pretending he didn't know anyone here and was therefore entirely unconcerned, "that you and I could take those two Uchiha prissy wusses at beach volley any day without breaking a sweat."

His eyes were practically glowing, knowing and not very discreet in conveying the hidden meaning of his words.

"You in?"

Kisame blinked, then glanced at Itachi who was forcefully maintaining his brow smooth, not knowing how to react to the blond teenager or to the occasion that was offering itself, and smirked.

Things were a whole lot more complicated than he was used to, but this time it looked like he would be getting a little bit of very welcome help.

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><p><em>END<em>

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><p><em>I love feedback :)<em>


	3. The Last Time

_**FILL 3**_

_**Prompt:**__ Uchiha Family AU. __I really really want to see a nice story where the massacre didn't happen, where loving parents grew old, where Sasuke achieved his childhood goal of being the head of the Konoha police force, and where an ANBU Itachi gets to say 'Sorry, Sasuke, this is the last time' in peace, surrounded by a caring family. _

_Life, my fellow anons, is good!_

_**Fill: **The Last Time_

_**Characters:**__ Itachi, Sasuke + Uchiha family, Sakura; Naruto_

_**Pairing(s):**__ None (mentions of ItachixOC)._

_**Warning:**__ AU. Angst. Unbeta'd._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Naruto. I just play with the characters._

_**Summary:**__ Years ago, Uchiha Itachi was the only one to stand between his family and his village to prevent a civil war or another massacre. He succeeded and became a symbol for what a shinobi should be – but even the best ones can't escape their own end._

* * *

><p><em><span>The Last Time<span>_

* * *

><p>As the leader of Konoha's Military Police Force, Chief Uchiha had no real control over anything that happened outside the village walls and was therefore far from being the first informed of the return of jounin and ANBU units, unless they brought new tidings that would influence law and order within the Leaf. As a brother, Sasuke almost felt it even before the medic-nin arrived and asked to see him, felt some sort of dread at the pit of his stomach that the expression on the newcomer's face only strengthened.<p>

Barely three words were exchanged before the Chief of Department was leaving his office, assistants and other officers ready to cover in his absence and hastily freeing the way downstairs. The news were already spreading all around.

Uchiha Itachi had come back from his last mission.

And had been rushed to the hospital when, upon walking through the gates, he'd just... _collapsed_.

It barely took a minute for Sasuke to arrive there, where he was at once met by one of the Junior Head Medics. The strange color of her hair still led many people to underestimate her but Sasuke knew better and took a second to feel grateful that she was the one in charge of his brother. But the look in her pale green eyes told him all he had to know and fear even before she spoke and explained the situation.

It wasn't looking good.

"He's been asking for you," Sakura said while leading him to the room.

His family was already there - all of it, his father and mother, his nephews trying not to panic, not to cry, trying to be strong, even Shisui whose genin team Sasuke had seen anxiously waiting outside. Mikoto smiled at him when he entered the room - tight, wan, sad and relieved all at once, and Sasuke remembered...

A picture. His mother sitting on the terrace behind their house, rays of sunlight making the first thin grey strands of her hair shine silver while she bents over a small bundle with a mop of dark hair already sticking out. She smiles at her first grandson, awed and tender, content and at peace.

It would be a long time before she would be able to smile like that again - if she ever would.

"Little brother."

Sasuke came out of his thoughts and walked up to the bed where Itachi was lying, looking exhausted but not seriously injured and hopefully not in too much pain. The mission hadn't been a dangerous one after all, even if it had necessitated the expertise of an ANBU squad. Still, it looked like it had worn his brother out until he couldn't even hope to recover again.

He probably never would.

It was strangely fitting, Sasuke mused, that after all he'd done to maintain peace, Itachi wouldn't die in a fight, not even from the wounds caused by one, but of an illness no medic-nin had ever been able to heal even after it was diagnosed.

Although it was strange, seeing Uchiha Itachi like this, lying so small and weak. The best of Konoha's ANBU. The only one who had held true to himself all those years ago, torn between his clan and his village, between his blood and his duty and his heart, not quite knowing which belonged to what anymore. The ninja who had uncovered it all, who had thrown a light onto the swarming worms of treason and spoken aloud what plotting and secrecy had whispered until everyone had known, until negotiation had been the only solution to prevent a civil war. The man who had stood between both parties until they'd seen reason, until they'd been appeased, even if he'd been little more than a child at the time.

Sasuke's older brother.

It broke something inside of him to see Itachi like this, ready to be defeated by the One which always managed to catch you, and it hurt to wonder how it felt for Itachi's sons, who were still young enough to be convinced that their father was _invincible_.

Itachi briefly looked at their parents and no word was needed for them to understand - they'd always understood and respected the fact that both their sons shared things they weren't meant to hear nor witness. Without protesting or asking any question, they left the room with Shisui and the children, leaving the two brothers alone for a little while.

Itachi tried to sit up in his bed, only to be interrupted by a sudden, painful cough - which didn't stop. Still, he raised a hand to prevent Sasuke from jumping up and go fetch Sakura.

It took almost a whole minute for the younger Uchiha to calm down enough and accept his brother's wishes. He sat at the edge of the bed to rub Itachi's back and prop him up until the cough finally subsided and Itachi sagged against him, exhausted.

There was blood on his hand.

Sasuke hated it - hated it all the more than he knew everything was coming to an end. He couldn't ignore it anymore now that he felt his brother's body against him, strong and weak, tall and small, taut and ready to break. That bloody cough had been plaguing him for years now, worrying their parents and encouraging even the Hokage to recommend him to retire and take better care of his health. Itachi had agreed. He had promised he would - right after he found what he was looking for.

This mission had been one of his last chances. Ever since Madara had been fought and finally killed, Itachi had taken up every single mission pertaining to the inspection of the man's innumerable hideouts to retrieve any kind of objects or scrolls left behind and to make disappear every single trace of his existence. He had considered it his duty as an Uchiha, but most of all he'd been looking...

"We found him," Itachi whispered, so low that, hadn't Sasuke been helping him to straighten up, he wouldn't have caught it.

The younger Uchiha almost froze for a second, then forced himself to breathe again.

But this simple sentence explained so many things.

Sasuke had always wondered how much of Itachi's holding on and on and on in spite of his illness had been due to the fact that he couldn't allow himself to stop, not until he'd fulfilled what he considered was something he owed to himself and the past. Something - someone - he couldn't ever give up on.

He had his answer now.

"Are you sure it's him?" he asked softly, his voice pitched low even if he didn't know why.

Itachi nodded, eyes closed, breathing labored. "We managed to identify the bones, the residues of chakra. I have no doubts."

Sasuke internally scolded himself for the pain these words awoke in him - like he'd hoped, even after all these years, that the person Itachi would find would miraculously still be alive.

"It's the body of a fourteen years old," his older brother added, meeting Sasuke's eyes. Something passed between them then, like it often did, a series of thoughts which were not quite formed but heard nonetheless. Fourteen years old, and no one to remember how he'd looked like by then, how he'd died, if he'd screamed or begged or cried, if he'd even been aware of it in the end or not.

But Sasuke remembered other things, always would. He remembered back then, when he'd been young, when he'd been alone and not, when suddenly being an Uchiha had stopped being so great and the way people had looked at him had changed so drastically, he remembered that even then, especially then, that blond boy had been there. There to look at him, _really_ look at him, there to snarl at him because of who he really was and not because he was an Uchiha, there to be aware that there was more to him than a name and a cold countenance, there to fight and joke and glare back at anyone looking at them the wrong way. There to understand.

Because being Uzumaki Naruto had never been _great_.

Sasuke knew his parents hadn't known what to do when they'd become aware of their friendship-but-not, fearing it wouldn't help matters that their youngest son was seen with the cursed child, but also noticing how much it brought him, how much it helped him and made him a little less tense, a little more cheerful, a whole lot stronger. Itachi hadn't said anything, but his approval had been noticeable in the way he would watch over them both and not only over Sasuke, in the way he would give more tips when he trained with his little brother - tips Sasuke hadn't ever needed, but that he'd been able to repeat to a blond kid no one had ever wanted to teach and who would always need more time because of it. Itachi had been supportive, having stopped caring about what people said and thought a long time ago. He'd been grateful for his little brother's sake, because Naruto had been there.

And then, one day, he hadn't.

It had been so sudden - the blink of an eye. One day, one second it seemed, and Sasuke's universe had changed, he'd been dealt with a new set of cards defining a reality he couldn't like because it was irreversibly missing something - the trump one.

They had looked for him, of course. A small dump of an apartment had been searched through, people had been questioned, search parties had been sent. But it was like the boy had vanished into thin air and they had come back empty handed. The file had been fumbled around then put away to free space for more important matters.

It had been all.

Sasuke remembered the rage, the powerlessness he'd felt back then, because they hadn't even really _tried_. No one had ever liked to look at Naruto, to be reminded of his existence, of their dirty little secret. So to look _for_ him, when so many were secretly thinking - hoping - he'd gotten lost and died, that the demon had died with him...

Sasuke had lost his best friend, and one had cared. No one had made an effort. No one had _wanted _to make it.

No one except Itachi.

(But if they had known. If they had known _who_ had taken him away, and how, and why. If it hadn't taken years for them to realize that Madara was more than a simple name of the past, on a page. If Itachi hadn't been alone on his quest. If if if...)

Itachi had told him the truth, about the Kyuubi and the war and the clan, then told him this knowledge had to remain secret because him knowing it so soon and Itachi being the one to tell him could be taken in all the wrong ways, by the clan and the village alike. Then Itachi had promised, to his ten years old brother and to himself, that he would bring Naruto back one day.

And on this day, finally, he had.

Sasuke could almost see it, his brother cradling the body of a small, scrawny blond child - only it had never happened, all flesh had probably rotten away a long time ago, only leaving bones that had never gotten to grow into adulthood and an aftertaste of bitterness and cruelty.

And now they were both silent in a hospital room, mourning over a child whose name hadn't even gotten the right to be written on the memorial for fallen ninjas. Because the Child had certainly never been a ninja of the Leaf, because he had just disappeared instead of dying during a mission, because he had never done anything to deserve it.

It had been carved nonetheless, after Madara was killed and with him the demon whose existence had proved another one had ceased. It had been done secretly by Sasuke and Itachi who had asked for Shisui's help to cover it up with a genjutsu no one would notice so that no one would get the occasion to be insulting enough to erase it. Shisui hadn't approved of it, of course, but he'd helped anyway, because he was _good_ like that, and because in spite of everything he was still Itachi's best friend, he knew Naruto had been Sasuke's, he understood why they had wanted to do this for him.

"Why?" Sasuke remembered asking after Shisui had left, because even if it _had_ been his best friend, even if he'd still wanted to shout and cry and rage at the unfairness of it all, he'd still been so ignorant and ready to think everything the adults said.

"Because he _is_ a hero of Konoha," Itachi had answered with a fierceness that had surprised his little brother. He'd been standing in front of the black stone, back straight in spite of his wounds that hadn't been completely healed, staring into the distance, his long dark bangs waving in front of his face because of the breeze, looking right at the Kage monument watching over the village.

"He was the Fourth Hokage's son, you know," he'd explained after a long silence. "His father sacrificed himself for the village and wanted him to be a hero - but he never was, he's only ever been the incarnation of what we don't want to admit to ourselves, the secret we want to forget." He'd lowered his head then, pressing a hand to his chest like it hurt. "That peace always comes at a price, and that being a ninja only teaches us the best way to coldly calculate who or what will be used as a payment for it." He had pinched his eyes closed, balled his hands into fists and forced himself to go on: "I did what I could. I refused to sacrifice our clan to the village, or the village to our clan. And in consequence _he_ was the one to get sacrificed. Madara wouldn't have turned to him so soon if he'd thought he'd had me, if he'd already had part of his revenge."

He'd made his promise then - to himself, to Sasuke, to Naruto - ready to spend his whole life looking, if that was what it took, and to make sure the lost boy got the honors he deserved. That was why he'd never left ANBU, even if he had been the one supposed to take on the role as family head and with it the function of Chief of Department, even if he had fought for years with their father because of it. And that was why he'd pushed Sasuke forward until the whole clan had relented and realized being younger didn't mean Sasuke wouldn't excel at leading the Police Force. He'd been preparing himself for it since age ten, after all - since Itachi had smiled at the question he'd asked, like he was amused, and answered:

"You take care of the village, little brother. And you leave the outside of these walls to me."

Sasuke had. Taking the time to come to terms with some of what had happened and to relearn why he was still going to swear allegiance to the Leaf in spite of it. Working diligently to get the trust of the people back. Mending the severed bonds within his clan, with the Hokage, with the village. Making sure no one was being neglected like his best friend had been. Every day of every year for years now, he'd worked to make what he'd dreamed up, what he'd set out for, come true.

Now Itachi had done the same and the last of his strength had left him with his goal.

"I don't think I'll held out for much longer," he confessed.

Sasuke didn't let the emotions show on his face even though his throat suddenly closed up and something painful tore at his heart - and yet he'd known, he'd always known this day would come and he'd always know it would be too soon. He helped his brother lie back down and went to the door to call his family back inside, returning to the bedside as soon as it was done. He looked at Itachi's face - at little bit too pale, a little bit too thin - noticed how intensely he was looking at the people filing into the room. Their father, who would put a hand on his shoulder and allow it to tremble slightly to show what his face couldn't; their mother, who would kiss him on the brow and blink overly bright eyes, but would manage to smile nonetheless; Shisui who would bit his lips and not dare hug him for fear of the consequences; and most of all his children, three sons who had already lost their mother to a mission and would try to be brave, would try to understand and accept, but would cling to him until the very end.

"Don't worry," Sasuke vowed, briefly catching Itachi's attention. "I'll keep your eyes on them."

Itachi blinked, then smirked slightly.

Both brothers had traded eyes several years ago. The operation had been done at Sasuke's insistence as soon as he'd realized Itachi was turning blind, could barely see a thing sometimes, but still wouldn't give up his rank as an ANBU. The younger Uchiha had known he never would as long as he hadn't fulfilled his quest or died trying. He had understood this - but had refused to let Itachi continue until his actions were nothing but suicide. It had been a long, continuous fight between them - one of the rare ones Sasuke had won - but he knew now that Itachi was grateful and relieved, knowing some part of him would live on and help protect the ones he loved even if he wasn't here anymore.

It was only confirmed when, with a sign of his hand, Itachi beckoned him to come closer. Sasuke did and bent down, ready to listen for what his brother had to say - and he was surprised and not when, instead of talking, Itachi flicked him on the forehead, making him wince then chuckle brokenly.

"Sorry, Sasuke," Itachi whispered. "This is the last time."

And it was.

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><p><em>The funeral took place several days later, and with it another one, shorter, more discreet, less followed. Afterwards Sasuke stood silently in front of the memorial stone, looking at a freshly carved name, looking at another name only he could see.<em>

_He had never been the same since that day, Itachi had said once, and he had been right. He hadn't been and would never be. But now he had closure, now he could grieve and come to accept the past as it was instead of making foolish promises, now he could let go and move on._

_It was his brother's last gift and wish._

Sorry, Naruto_, he thought. _This is the last time_._

_Then he turned away and left the past behind._

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><p><em>...<em>

_Reviews are loved :)_

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><p><em>[It occurred to me while writing this fic that the acronym of Konoha Military Police Force, KMPF, could quite readily be turned into the german word Kampf (fight, battle). It would've been great to use it - because KMPF is so not pronounceable - hadn't history given such negative connotations to the word. WW2, how do I hate thee...]<em>


	4. AntiBullying for Dummies

_**FILL 4**_

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><p><em><strong>Prompt: <strong>Team 8; Bullies. I'm sure at least Shino and Hinata had to deal with them. Before or after they're a team._

_**Fill: **Anti-Bullying for Dummies_

_**Characters: **Team 8 (Kurenai, Kiba, Hinata, Shino)_

_**Pairing(s):** None._

_**Warning:** Humor. Unbeta'd._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. I just play with the characters._

_**Summary:** Bullying, Kurenai decided, wouldn't happen to her pupils, not on her watch. She'd teach them how to stop it – and look at that, they even got to train their ninja abilities at the same time._

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><p><em><span>Anti-Bullying for Dummies<span>_

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><p>Like every jounin meant to take on a genin team, Yûhi Kurenai had taken the time to observe the future members of team 8 beforehand. The aim was to discover more about their everyday life and their character without them being aware of it, thus revealing far more than they would ever imagine.<p>

So Kurenai watched. And what she saw didn't please her.

You would think that in a village where people walked up walls, where dogs talked and where more than one passer-by had some strange physical trait, things like intolerance or exclusion because of differences wouldn't exist.

But apparently, it did. Every single one of her future pupils were victim of it because they didn't conform to the norm.

Having had her fair share of mockeries and bashing because of her red eyes and unruly hair - and not really regretting it since it had made her learn some of the finest uses of genjutsu - Kurenai - now Kurenai-_sensei_ - decided things would change.

And change they did.

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><p>Kiba was slowly walking down the street with his hands in his pockets and Akamaru in tow. They were on their usual evening stroll after a day of training with only one sucky D-rank mission to the side they were all too happy to forget. All in all, it had been a good day.<p>

Which was why someone was going to try and spoil it, of course.

"Well well," a voice called when the boy and his dog turned into a side street. "If it's not our stray friends."

"Long time no see, doggy," another one added.

It was a small group Kiba knew well for having met its members several times and hunched his shoulder under their insults and mockeries about allegedly not being quite human or not knowing how to use toilets instead of lampposts or smelling bad. Not so long ago, he would've frowned and tensed, trying not to show he was afraid or hurt and wondering what was the best escape route even if he knew he had none.

Now he didn't even took his hands out of his pockets.

"Akamaru," he simply said.

The dog began to growl at once, waiting for the order. Which promptly came:

"Bite _off_."

The dog's eyes were now riveted to their aim, that is to say the first thing he was level with. He'd grown enough for it not to be the enemy's shins anymore, but hadn't reached his full height where he would reach their torso. Which left a very specific area as prime target, as the group of boys couldn't help but notice.

Sharp fangs bared, Akamaru jumped.

Needless to say, Kiba hadn't know the group of wannabe bullies could run that fast.

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><p>She had known walking through the woods that late was a bad idea. But Hanabi was sick and she knew that place where exactly the kind of plants they needed grew. She had only been wrong in thinking anything would ever be simple for her.<p>

The boys were the same as they had been years before, apparently still using these woods as their base. They had the same smirk and looked ready for a repeat of what a blond boy had interrupted back then. And this time, Naruto wouldn't be here to help.

She was alone.

But she had also grown, she had learned her lesson, she was a ninja now. So she took a halting breath and activated her Byakugan.

"Ooh, looks like the mouse is willing to fight," one of the boys said, clearly not impressed.

"Do you think taijutsu can stutter too?" snorted another.

"Woo, I am really afraid here," the third one taunted.

Still, they weren't approaching. They had probably heard of dôjutsu and hesitated before assaulting someone gifted with one. They were obviously waiting for her to attack, hoping she'd stumble.

Only Hinata didn't. She simply lowered her all-seeing eyes - enough to leave her opponents' faces but not going so far as to reach the ground. Then she slightly raised her eyebrows as if out of surprise and she-

-snorted.

Loudly. Before hastily slapping her hand to her mouth. She met the eye of her aggressors, her expression almost repentant. But not quite.

"What? What?" they asked, trying to sound threatening and not worried or panicked because it was quite clear _what_ her gaze had fallen upon and if she could _see_ and had reacted like _that_...

But Hinata only shook her head, hand still firmly stuck in front of her lips. A second, two, then she swiftly turned away and left, obviously to hide before she started laughing right in their face.

None of the three mortified teens even thought of following her.

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><p>"So, what are you waiting for?" one of the teenagers growled, impatiently reaching out a hand, waiting for the wallet he'd demanded.<p>

Shino simply looked at him from behind his dark glasses, his complete immobility more than a little unnerving. "I need to assess the situation beforehand," he replied as if reading it from the ninja book. "Are you addressing me with the intention of hurting me, physically or otherwise?"

"Well, what do you think, bug-freak?" another one snarled, balling his hands into fists. "Can't see the day you'll regret to be born when it dawns?"

He barely refrained from shuddering when Shino whipped his head in his direction. "I feel compelled to tell you these words can be interpreted as a threat," he clinically said.

"Very good, retard," the first one snorted. "Now do as you're told before we squish you like your disgusting little friends."

And, saying that, he raised a foot and crushed a trio of bugs which had been peacefully walking on the ground, analyzing its composition. Shino stared at the foot for a long time, entirely still.

"I must notify you that this counts as an aggression," he commented, his tone now clipped. "Are you engaging me in a fight?"

"Like hell I am!" the teenager bellowed, running out of patience. "Your time is out. Now stop talking so I can bash your face in!"

"You _are_ engaging me in a fight," Shino confirmed with a nod as the other boys prepared to attack. "Thank you for this information."

He bowed slightly.

A second later, the boys began to yelp and dance from one foot to the other, hands reaching towards a specific part of their anatomy.

Shino simply stared. Kurenai-sensei was apparently right - people really didn't like to feel bugs spying _down_ _there_. Feeling she would be interested in knowing her theories were confirmed, he left the small group to his jumping and squealing, turning away to go make his report.

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><p>"I am quite proud of the fact I managed to make Shino understand he could use his techniques even when out of missions," Kurenai concluded, taking a sip from her sake. "The Aburame are so stuck-up about rules, you have no idea."<p>

She sighed with satisfaction, putting her glass back down on the table she was sharing with the other jounins. Genins were strangely never curious to know what their senseis did after hours - and what was said then. Pity.

"Nice job," Kakashi commented. "Though as a man I feel compelled to wonder why you taught them all to target the same thing, albeit in different ways."

Kurenai smirked, then shrugged and chugged down the rest of her drink.

"Maybe it has something to do with what _you_ were taught for that sort of things," Asuma mumbled around his cigarette. "What would you show to your aggressor once you caught him in a genjutsu?"

Kurenai, who had turned away to gesture for another glass, brought her red eyes back to him and... smiled. Both male jounin barely refrained from shuddering.

"You don't want to know, believe me," Kurenai merrily replied.

A look at the glint in her eyes and they understood that no, they really didn't.

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><p><em>End<em>

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><p><em>Reviews are loved :)<em>


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